Screech, no

Let's play; Obvious parallels between the Screech sex tape and Showgirls!



1. Both featuring the bare extremities of ex Saved By The Bell stars
2. No one ever asking to see either
3. The stars thinking this would be the thing to save their careers
4. What actually happens being ridicule followed by obscurity

This pattern is extremely disturbing and, following it to it's logical conclusion, 'AC Slater: Goat Love' should be out any week now. And, as with both of the above, you know you shouldn't watch it... but you will.

Dude, if you're gonna lie

You may or may not have seen this story.

To summarize; a guy went though life claiming he'd written the swimwear based classic 'Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' when he was 19, to the extent that it appeared in his obituary after he died the other day. It was only after the guy who actually wrote it started receiving concerned phonecalls that the fraudster guy's friends and relatives found him out.

Now in the ten seconds after I read that article, I'd already thought of eighteen million better lies the guy could have told to make himself look good. Here's a sample few from about halfway down the list:

9,116,873) Say you were the creator of Hungry Hungry Hippos
9,116,874) Say you were the first person to run slowly and call it 'jogging'
9,116,875) Say Gene Roddenberry was originally going to cast Captain Kirk as an effeminate coward with no confidence around women and below average starship captaining skills until you stepped in and set him straight.
9,116,876) Say you didn't write Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

There's an obvious moral to this story: That song licks balls.

We should all fear Tom Hanks

In showbusiness news: Tom Hanks has been voted most trustworthy celebrity in the world by a recent poll.

Yeah I can see this. I mean if I was ever in a situation where I had to buy a used car from either Tom Hanks or, say, Brad Pitt there'd be absolutely no question about it. Hanks by a mile. Pitt's a great actor but for one his eyes are a little too close together, plus god knows what Angelina Jolie's made him do to her on the back seat.

Occurs to me though that if I was planning to lull the whole world in to a state of complacent trustingness in order to achieve some nefarious end, taking Hank's career path is definitely the way I'd do it. Win people over with your comedy stylings, then grab their hearts and minds with some well chosen dramatic turns? Genius. Makes the Reichstag fire look amatuerish (plus Hitler never got to kiss Shelley Long. The dumbass.)

Trust him if you must, but keep your eye on him...