JM Barrie impressed with self as new Peter Pan novel published

Deceased novelist JM Barrie was surprised to learn he had written a sequel to his popular children's classic Peter Pan, despite having thrown himself in front of a train in 1937.

"Fuck me, I'm good.", commented Barrie when interviewed earlier today. "I mean fuck I thought I was the shit when they made that Johhny Depp film about me with fine-ass Kate Winslet in it. But this shit? Damn, I never shoulda never jumped in front of that train! I'm too damn good!"

The plot of the novel involves a return to Neverland years after the first story, when Wendy has grown up and had children of her own (and in no way resembles the plot of the film Hook, despite being the same)*.

"It's kinda bittersweet, you know.", continued Barrie. "I mean on the one hand I've just written this book but on the other hand I've been dead for 69 years. Dog, I don’t know how to feel."

Barrie was however pleased to find that he hadn't written that Alan Moore one about Wendy sucking Peter off.

*Actually, it does sound pretty good and half the profits go to Great Ormond Street. You should buy it. I'm just being a twat.